The University records its 1,826th consecutive day of full attendance
The Registrar notes that the figure may extend further this week, unless someone is obliged to collect a takeaway.
Founded MMXX · Four Campuses · Zero Commute
Stay At Home
Stay At Home
UniversityEx Couch, Ad Scientiam
A residential university without the inconvenience of residence
Founded in 2020 on the premise that the pursuit of knowledge need not require leaving the premises. SAHU offers the complete undergraduate, graduate and doctoral lying-down curriculum, with a recorded commuting time of nil minutes.
89 m²Total floor area
0 minDaily commute
100%Graduation rate
1 : 1Student–teacher ratio
SAHUAdmission
by Default
MMXX
by Default
MMXX
From the Registrar
In view of conditions outdoors being unusually agreeable, all in-person teaching will continue to be delivered online, and all online teaching from beneath the duvet.
All Notices →
I
Admissions
No examination, no documents, no waiting. The University admits continuously.
Read the Prospectus IIAcademics
Six schools, twenty-four programmes, and not a single roll-call.
Browse Programmes IIICampus Life
The bedroom is the lecture room; the refrigerator is the refectory.
View the Campuses IVNews & Events
This week's sole scheduled event: the continuation of the status quo.
Read the GazetteI. The University
An institution that has never required its students to leave.
Founded in MMXX, the University completed its entire estates programme on the first day — the estate was already there.
Stay At Home University is a non-profit, non-campus, non-full-time (nor, strictly, part-time) seat of domestic learning. Four campuses fall under its jurisdiction: the Bedroom, the Drawing Room, the Kitchen and the Balcony. The last of these, on grounds of excessive daylight, has been held in abeyance since 2021.
We proceed from a single conviction: that genuine scholarship does not require travel. Every course is delivered at the student's present location, and teaching is assessed against one criterion only — whether comfort has been maintained. In six years the University has recorded no late arrival, no early departure and no commuting incident of any kind.
Read the Charter →Today at the University
Consulting the calendar…
The sole administrative act required of a student is the daily record of attendance. The system locates you automatically; no movement is necessary.
Status: Not yet recorded · 0 days accrued
Attendance is defined as being beneath the duvet and entertaining no intention of going out.
VISchoolsTwo undergoing refurbishment
XXIVProgrammesAll available for endless resitting
IStudentPresently, yourself
0Late ArrivalsThere are no lectures to be late for
II. News & Announcements
From the University Gazette
University
Sofa Ergonomics voted “Course Least Likely to Require Rising”
The judging panel remained recumbent throughout. There were no objections, and no one came forward to accept the award.
The Refectory completes its quarterly inventory
A yoghurt dated 2023 was discovered at the rear of the cold shelf and has been accessioned by the University Archive. It will neither be eaten nor discarded.
The University Calendar
- 14 NovWeekend reposeNo instruction or functions arranged
- 15 NovNo lecturesThe default standing; no application required
- 16 NovStudy beneath the duvetFormerly described as online teaching
- 21 DecEstates Supply DayThe Refectory offers frozen dumplings
- 1 JanFoundation DaySleeping through constitutes attendance
III. The Schools
Six schools. One lecture room.
All faculties share the same premises, and observe a polite distance from one another.
I
School of Sofa Studies
The Sofa School
Our oldest foundation. Static load-bearing, postural optimisation and the reachable range of a remote control.
Five programmes · Head: Professor G. Reclining
II
School of Bedding Science
Bedding Science & Engineering
Duvet thermodynamics, pillow calibration, interface engineering, and the quantitative modelling of delay.
Six programmes · A nationally self-assessed priority discipline
III
School of Takeaway Logistics
Takeaway & Cold-Chain Logistics
From the decision to order to the handover at the door, with particular attention to the final twelve paces.
Four programmes · Ninety per cent practical credit
The world is very large.
We decline the invitation.
Professor Horace Pillow · From the President's Address
IV. Admissions MMXXVI
Applications are open.
No examination, no personal statement, no need to rise. Three fields of information produce a letter of admission immediately. Fees are nil; provisions are the candidate's own affair.